ever since i started this account i've been trying to get into this blogging thing. i like blogging, sharing ideas, commenting, reading other people's private stuff made public. but to be honest, i've found a number of reasons why i don't really feel up to writing blogs. first is because i'm not really a big complainer. true, i find lots of things i don't like, but in the end, how many of them are important enough to permanently stick on a blog? if you read my old posts you'll see that if i complain about something, it's usually major enought to deserve a short essay. like the education system :) second is because i like to keep my privacy. i have nothing against sharing my thoughts with people, it's just that i don't see the point of telling everybody everything. there might be stalkers or future employers lurking on the web. besides, i do keep a semiregular pen-and-paper journal for the really important stuff. like the OG matrix project. third is because i don't like to recycle stuff. i don't want to just blabber about some interesting factoids i've found or tell people about who's winning what sporting event. that's what professional news web sites are for. that pretty much sums up the reasons why i'm quick to thing but slow to blog. when i do get around to shooting off another volley, please read 'em and comment. i'll be watching you. bwahahahaha
torrents of rain battered the aging walls of the urban terrorist camp as night descended upon the riverbank. in one room, lighted only by a pair of dim fluorescents, a small group of young people, minds and bodies battered by relentless indoctrination, were subjected to even more indoctrination by the foaming frilly fanatical figure in front. they tried to ignore his rantings, moving their minds far from the corrupting influence, or finding peace in the oblivion of sleep, but they could not withstand the deluge of hollow philosophy, as unending as the rains falling from above. they knew the consequences of not believing his lies. suddenly, all lights went out, and the electronic din of the city gave way to dread silence. it was as if the utter darkness of the world had come to reclaim what belonged to it. the absence of light gave birth to the primal fears (ghosts of headless bodies, bodyless heads and nuns, as usual), and the unfortunate youths sought only escape from the madness, and reach the lower levels. as they reached for electric lights and candles they rushed out of the room, ignoring the threats of the terror master. they stumbled through the rain slicked floors, dimly guided by the fading lights. one fell, and was crushed under the panicking stampede of her fellows. as they reached the end of the hall, they witnessed a visage more terrifying than any ghost. and they realized that indeed darkness had come to reclaim those who belonged to it. the form was a man. a man in black. a man who embodied justice and revenge in one word: bloody retribution the demolisher was here. actually, this friday we had a really late theo5 class, and at around 7 the lights in the whole area went out, so everybody panicked and ran out of the class and we had to make our way down this staircase which was wet with rain and backup, and when we got to the lobby it was already full of other students. i learned that whenever a lot of people are stuck in one place and there's no electricity, they start to behave like idiots with electric lights and lighters. myself included. i made a strobe light using my phone and a thumb. some friends of mine had a candle duel. some idiots played phoneball. real stupid fun. i'm glad i left early.
sometimes it just seems like all my years of be quiet and behaving well in elementary school have come back to haunt me. They've given people the incorrect assumption that i'm a very quiet person who doesn't like to talk or socialize. so if i am, for example, standing doing nothing or hovering around a group of nice, attractive people they frequently automatically assume that i'm just thinking or worse, emoting, and leave me alone. when in reality i'm just trying not to be rude and interrupt their conversation and i really do want to talk with somebody my age... WAAAAHHH i really am just trying to make some friends.>sniff< and do some (ahem) advance scouting. especially at DEC. and i hope that i can somehow get people to see that i'm not trying to be a misanthropic sociopath. random pic for the day 
Christian Bale painted as Deus Ex protagonist JC Denton. he's a stealthy and secretive guy, true, but at least he gets to talk with almost as many NPCs as he kills.
here's my personal list of the seven best videogame soundtracks ever. what i mean by "best" is a combination of musical quality, appropriateness with the game, and variety. here we go. 7) Battlerealms: the ebb and flow of war and peace. this RTS game captures both in a beautifully organic setting, better than the overrated warcraft3. its music does no less. it's asiatic melodies enhance its fantasy setting, its delicate strings evoke the feeling of drinking tea in the rain prior to crushing ones enemies. 6) the Sims: before the music in the sequel went emo, the original game had a great variety of attractive songs, not only for the main theme and the menus, but also for the ambient music. in fact, the nonsensical language the sims speak in could be counted as music in itself. 5) Vigelante 8: 2nd offense: in this autocombat game which pits heroes from the 70's against evil dudes from the future, every character has their own catchy theme. while most of the players have hilarious disco songs, there are also great punk and techno tracks. a personal favorite is the remix of the "phantom of the opera" song, for the demonic halftrack driver. 4) Super mario bros: this venerable game has so many great songs that almost every gamer can recognize: the theme song, the cave song, the swimming song, the inviciblestar song, etc. these songs all have beautiful melodies that are suprisingly deep, and hold up even after 20 years. in one word, classic. 3) Metal Gear Solid: all of the games in this "tactical espionage action" series have good music, but only this one has a totally perfect soundtrack that never stops in its emotional intensity. it's great how there are so many variations on the main themes, which always support the story. 2) Red Alert: anyone who has had the privelage to play this kinetic RTS game with the sound will agree that it's intense techno-metal soundtrack, which alternates between raging and suspenseful, fits the amazing action of the game perfectly. the series theme, "hell march" is perfect music for war. it's successor, RA2, continues with the intense music but unfortunately lacks the "soft" songs of the original. 1) Deus Ex: this awesome action RPG uses the unreal music system to generate music that always matches the action on screen. for every area there's a main song, a combat song and a recovery song. cutscenes use the great main themes and suspense themes, to great effect. the music is so varied, and covers a variety of styles from industrial to trance to ethnic. my personal favorites are the "hong kong market" songs. well, that's my list. it's true that many other games have outstanding music, but the games on my list are outstanding for having music that compliments the spirit and events of the game. in my opinion, these games are worth playing for the music alone.
this semester our MT/MLS program was dealt a major blow when we lost our associate dean, sister ma. nina balbas. there was no doubt that she was probably the best dean in the university. she really went out of her way to guide all of the new MT/MLS students and make them feel welcome. she also helped make the program one of the most close-knit in the university. unfortunately, the RVM order transferred her somewhere else and she had to follow her vows of obedience and follow. so now we've got got an understaffed program, with two only two full-time staff members, and a general feeling of overextension and emptiness. goodbye s nina. your guidance, wisdom and vision will be dearly missed.
over the past three months i've lost about six kilos... not much but a bit more than my normal waxing and waning. i do seem slimmer, though. my pants have started falling off. i hope i'm not losing muscle mass... i don't feel weaker so it probably isn't... unless my legs are dissolving. basically, this is what i did, really. if anybody wants the same results....  1) walking everywhere: unlike many of my peers i don't have any cultural bias against walking. exercising and building up my melanin. hahaha 2) small dinner? all my other meals are pretty much the same as normal. at night i avoid rice, sugar, etc. 3) more sleep? or is it less sleep? or maybe irregular sleep? i don't know if i've been sleeping more or less, because sometimes i sleep real late, but i'm catching more sleep in between... 4) drugs: chemical boosts can work wonders for mind and body, i think. caffeine and the chemical that the brain excretes when playing unreal tournament are my prime suspects. i'm too cool to smoke. hahaha that was fun. don't blame me if you get AIDS or your brain short circuits while trying to emulate me.
random overrated top 5 list for june 7. this is fun. forget about writing intelligent articles. internet! 5) peking duck: it's not like it's that good. the meat isn't as good as a well made chicken and the skin is way too greasy. plus it's got that nauseating duck smell 4) warcraft 3: a lame RTS/leveluppinggame that's wrecked further by an imbalanced hero system. its only redeeming point is its excellent editor, which gave us classics such as dota and tower defense 3) angelina jolie: freakishly doglike face. no charisma. why is she popular? 2) people power: THE HONORABLE LEE KUAN YEW, IN AN INTERVIEW WITH THE STRAIT TIMES IN JANUARY, 2001, COMMENTED THAT “THE CHANGE OF POWER IN THE PHILIPPINES WAS NO BOOST FOR DEMOCRACY BECAUSE IT WAS DONE OUTSIDE THE CONSTITUTION." nuff said "i don't care what some old singaporean says and i'm going to march in every rally and you have my 100% support because that's the right thing to do!" 1) global warming: tell me when it kills as many people as HIV, tuberculosis or malaria or when it destroys more land than the building of golf courses or deforestation for the purpose of growing "biofuel" crops.
http://beta.ph.news.yahoo.com/ap/20080530/ten-people-david-cook-5e343d7.html do you realize this headline has been on yahoo philippines for over a week? is it really that important? does anyone realize how stupid this is? the article, i mean. first of all, the title is extremely misleading. it's mostly about the post ai moves of cook and archueta. second, it doesn't make any sense at all. exactly how is david cook "unconventional" if he merely does not follow the unwritten code of america? The newly crowned "American Idol" winner says he doesn't abide by the conventional three-day wait period after a date. huh? three day wait period? for what? pregnancy tests? stupid american traditions. all based on deception and arrogance. does anybody realize how demeaning their system is? you screw around until 1) someone is impregnated 2) you perform good enough to reach an agreement btw, this really isn't about david cook. i don't have any problem with him, but if you're a fanboy/fangirl who wants to think i do, then !!FLAME ON!!
some people are just so hard to get along with. you go out on a limb for them and they consistently let you down. they expect a lot but are unwilling to provide any information or assistance. and at times they're extremely inconsiderate and rude. i don't know. i guess i have a lot of friends like that. it's part of being the smart silent guy i appear to be. and sometimes i feel like saying something about it, but it's not that simple. i get the feeling that i'm only going to do more damage if i come out with it, you know? and being friends... it's not like it's that easy. oh, and in case you haven't noticed, the title is totally unrelated to post. 
well, almost. ha ha.
this is part two of the story i wrote when i was five years old. cyborg-chonner is now in the year 2010 where he decides to stop dr lucia from creating the evil robos. but first, he must acquire more nuclear fuel for his cyborg parts to function so he goes to a nuclear waste dump and steals old fuel rods, alerting the police of the time to his presence. he then bombs lucia's lab but lucia is rescued by a mysterious assistant. chonner tries to pursue but is wounded in the process. he is rescued by render, a guy who claims to have also experienced falling through a wormhole. render is amazed that chonner survived the radiation of the nuclear dump. he tries to talk chonner out of pursuing lucia while he treats chonner's injuries, saying that maybe he is not supposed to stop the machines. suddenly, they are attacked by another hunter robot and render is killed. cyborg-chonner manages to destroy the robo using special nuclear bullets he made earlier, but three others appear. he has no choice but to run away from the robots while trying to chase their creator. chonner destroys one of the robo hunters by throwing it into power lines. by hiding in a train station he evades the remaining robo hunters while he hunts down lucia. he manages to throw lucia's mysterious assistant off of a train, cornering lucia. when he tells lucia about the evil future that was brought about by his machines, lucia breaks down. the scientist says that he only wanted to make robots to help people, like the robots in cartoons. however, the robots would not only be subservient to man but they would also make man more capable of serving himself. his robots would not allow people to become lazy. thus, he had to program the robots to have an innate disdain for laziness. lucia then explains that he could not make a computer smart enought to hate laziness. he was told how to do that by his mysterious assistant, who had a great knowledge of artificial intelligence. chonner realizes that if he wants to get to the bottom of this he must locate the mysterious assistant. he also realizes that the assistant would have been able to anticipate his attack earlier only if he were 1) a machine or cyborg with sensitive sensors or 2) somebody with knowledge from the future. neither of these options is good. chonner must find the assistant or he'll never be able to prevent the day of destruction. end of part 2 part 3 is coming soon
while everyone else is debating the inevitable (lakeriffic) outcome of the nba finals, i'm going on a whiny little emo rapping trip. but first, a joke: who is the slipperiest inspirational writer? five points if you get it! stumped? ok. it's.... Norman Vincent Banana Peale!!! ahem (shakes hair down to cover one eye) now here i am, standing outside. thinking about if i were that guy. sitting there by your side. so many times i've tried, but i'm just here, wondering why. if it was you and me now that would be sweet. but there's more important things then if and when we meet. i tried to see the future, i tried to stop my fall. but i can't tell if you are there, you can't have it all. everything is getting dim dark dark. because somebody, he got a head start. made it first into your heart. and now i feel we'll ever be apart. what am i to do, just wait and admire'ya? down inside i feel my heart's on fire. and everytime we talk, even just a "hiya", there's that thing that makes me want to cry-a. so maybe we aren't close, might seem a barely know ya. maybe these things, you wouldn't believe me if i told ya. do what you want it's not like i own ya. but if i could i'd be with you like white on soya. can you hear these words ?aight? for once i had a hope, once i had a light. kept it with me everyday everynight. now it's gone, left taken flight. because... i have got my eyez on you. it is too painful to not be true. tomorrow may take me away from you let it happen, that's what i gotta do. (cries blood)
well, here we are at the end of another summer. it seems so much shorter than the last, being spent on botany classes and internetting. yet, it was no less eventful than any other in my life. this round, there have been "developments" in my life. new acquaintances. pretty good longdistance communications with old friends. some peace and rest. and, well, some awkwardness... trying to relate with people i've always known but never really known. trying to rally my thoughts into coherent multilingual sentences. trying to learn as much about them as i can. because for once i have a couple of real, viable, potential "prospects" and personally, i don't feel cut out for the celibate life. i want to get as close as possible. yet i've learned so much since last i was in love. things like this need careful thought, planning and meditation. where do we begin? so this is where i am. i've got gut feelings, yeah, and head feelings, and heart feelings. and true womanly beauty, it feels great. it is great. but i can't run on feelings alone. the evergreen pines.
here's a shameless plug for the hottest new clan in the best free team-based massively multiplayer fps, wolfenstein enemy territory! clan [U.N] UncheaterNation is an up-and-coming, philippines-based clan, probably the very first! we've got some of the best players like jujube, psychotaku, multikill and splinter.cell! if you want to join, just send an email or IM to u.nclan@yahoo.com containing your game name and email address! rock! wolfenstein is a great FPS with players from northam, asia, australia and europe. it's got great action, competition and game balance. best of all, if you've got a good connection, there's almost no lag! it beats the crap out of money-grabbing korean stuff like warrock! so come on and download it now! then get playing! and join our clan!
here's my beautifully written prize-losing entry for the davao youth somethingsomething essay-writing contest with the theme of "the filipino youth working together in the midst of the philippine political crisis". it was written in about two hours one fine day in march this year, when lozada was in the news and the situation looked pretty hairy. i've enhanced this version to be closer to my original vision for the piece, before it was "sanitized" for the sissy contest judges. enjoy. the filipino youth working together in the midst of the philippine political crisis youth and politics. two words that when combined instantly form images of sweaty young "rebels with a cause", marching in rallies, waving their banners and signboards, trying to "make a difference" by screaming, as if in a democracy change is evoked according the volume of one's cries. when will they realize that the youth has practically no say, no power in the political situation of the country. this administration has shown that all the student rallies in the worlds can do nothing to move the minds of those in the senate and malacanang. they'd make a deeper impression by licking rocks. yes, if one looks at those poor deluded protesters, it seems obvious that the actions of the youth are exercises in futility. yet, every now and then, we see cases of youth action making a difference in this nation. the example most recent in the national consciousness is the sheltering of the lozada family by the la salle community, standing up against the insidious forces of corruption. and if we dig deeper, we find more cases of such youth action. there are thousands of student civil-service "volunteers", unceremoniously drafted by the educational system to aid their less fortunate brothers. there are many youths who carefully observe the situation of the country and express their ideas in a sensible, intelligent way. There are also many young people who support positive political candidates who can make a difference in the nation. yes, the filipino youth can make a difference, even though it's usually not the kind that makes the evening news. these young people are not misguided rebels trying to break away from the system. they're acting together to do their part as responsible members of society. and although these young people may not always succeed, the important thing is that they have a clear vision of the future instead of the prevailing attitude of apathy and short-sightedness. they are youth with strong convictions based on their experience, judgement and values. they are what we need today. WE NEED YOUTH WITH CONVICTION! perhaps we should be glad that we have this political crisis at this critical point in our history. times of crisis reveal people's true characters, and forge capable and decisive leaders. we should not let politics shape the people. the people should take control of politics! i truly hope that the youth will act wisely now, for those who act today will shape our future tomorrow. FYI, the winning entry pretty much said something to the effect of "protesting youths are good and even if it accomplishes nothing i will stand and protest with them every time because protesting is a filipino thing to do." what can i say, they deserve the winner.
today i'm going to discuss a part of my life i rarely talk about. it's affected me deeply, yet as the years have passed i myself view it as not particularly important in the present day. besides, i'm quite tired of constant here vs there arguments, when it has always been obvious to me which is a bette place to live. now, during my life in northam i had the opportunity to go to two different elementary schools, one catholicprivate and one whitepublic. some of the most easily recalled events of those times were the regular fire drills, carried out almost completely at random. i can remember, our joy as we left our desks and formed orderly lines, our excitement at the simulated panic as we neatly marched out of the school, our pride as we stood neatly arrayed in the yard, having survived the perdition of imaginary flames. i've no doubt that if there was a real emergency such as a fire, we'd probably all get out alive. but now, as ably demonstrated by fine people such as harris, kobold and cho, it is doubtless that the greatest threats to a school in northam are not acts of god but a acts of man. i wonder if they have "school-shooter drills" nowadays. but we are getting off topic. i'm pretty sure that a northam elementary class would be able to escape a fire intact as long as the asbestos ceilings do not collapse on them. but what of a philippine elementary class? schools here never have fire drills. and when they do, they are usually announced in advance, which really misses the point. heck, living on these islands we are way more susceptible to an even wider variety of disasters. we should have fire drills, earthquake drills, typhoon drills, people power drills. but no, the masters of our educational system are far too wise for such nonsense. our schools must teach students about the benefits of government-approved fortified junk foods, incalculating in them the values of instant noodles. oh man, i remember when i started studying elementary here. every few weeks we'd have a program sponsored by lucky me or milo or something, telling kids to eat !fortified! foods! really useful stuff. yes! children must eat fortified junk food! then they'll be smart! and strong! and have hi EQ as well! anyways, if there ever is a natural disaster, do you think knowing how to play parlor games will help you survive? fire drills are just like those silly games! wake up, man! instant noodles, now those will really increase your chances for survival! especially the fortified ones! drink you milo! the official sports chocolate thing! increases IQ and EQ! WOW PHILIPPINES!
last semester i had to enroll in a "community healthcare" subject in which we were supposed to study the health conditions of the residents of the slum below our school and come up with projects to aid them. one of the things we were supposed to do was gather info by interviewing community leaders like barangay captains, tanods, health workers. the thing is, these people knew next to nothing about their constituents. nobody could give us any reliable info on population or employment or health problems. so you know what we had to do for our reports? that's right, make up figures based on wild guesses and outdated internet information. an extremely efficient way to come up with mathematically pleasing numbers. so in the end we learned almost nothing about the areas we were assigned to. we gathered no useful information and were unable to identify any way in which we could practically help the communities. yeah. everybody knew that our data was worthless, so a lot of our time was spent dressing up our various reports and visual aids with glitter glue. i kid you not. to make things worse, community healthcare was a major subject with both lecture and lab periods. i hate to think about all the time i've wasted working on these pointless projects. there are a lot of students in health-related fields, and it sucks to know that many of them will be subject to ridiculous filler subjects such as this. our curriculum was modified to add this subject to our already considerable load. in "community healthcare", there is no real learning or development or even conscripted service to society. it is useless, plain and simple. a waste of time, effort, and tuition. it's disgusting really. obviously, someone in the CHED wants to furthur their political careers by adding useless nothings to our school system, and calling it progress. they should focus on supporting and raising the standards of the current system instead. i'm hoping against hope that whoever is in charge will stop adding all this fluff. and if they don't, i'll bring on the rebellion.
reading michael sy's verbose posts about his god, japanimation, has gotten me thinking about my own relationship with the ubiquitous art form. my first exposure to anime was the idiotic speed racer series, at the time shown on cartoon network during the strategic lunch hour. i had nothing but disdain for the poor animation, the inane dialog, and the ridiculous premise of speed racer always failing to discover that racer x is his long-lost brother. yet somehow, i warmed up to the cliches of the series. like the drooling retard who just wants a hug, it had a dumb appeal of its own. yeah, you might even get to like him, but you can't help but laught behing his back. i came to think of all anime that way, especially the more popular series like dragonball and sailormoon, which featured ridiculous mystic storylines. yeah, anime was pretty stupid. especially when compared to the finest western cartoons, the simpsons, ren+stimpy, rocko and dexter's laboratory, which were always slick, smart, and funny. but then hanna-barbera and friends devolved, producing the dada-esqe cow+chicken, the parody-driven johnny bravo, the shameless ripoff jimmy neutron. and i discovered an obscure little series called rorouni kenshin i really got sucked in to the continuing adventures of mr himura and company. watching the show every evening after school, the characters really came alive for me. and i discovered that cartoons could do something more than just entertain. cartoons could tell stories, make people feel. anime could be as moving as the best video games. thank you, samurai x. so there is good anime, and there is crap anime. i'm a discriminating patron. but i've learned to not group it all under the "speed racer" category.
today we begin our series on how to make cool fight scenes, and by extension, cool movies and cool characters and cool IPs and eventually cool money. these nuggets of wisdom have been refined by this author's many observations of the most mind-blowing action movies around. the first principle is reaction. the greater the reaction, the greater the action. if you punch someone and their arms fall off, you are powerful. the opposite is also true. if you get stabbed and seem unaffected, you are tough. study the following examples: matrix 1, once upon a time in china 2, mortal kombat.
final fantasy 10 is an epic game about learning one's purpose in life, standing up for one's beliefs and destroying the papacy once and for all!!! the world of spira is terrorized by a horrible thousand-year old monster named sin. an eclectic group of adventurers must undergo a pilgrimmage to defeat it once and for all. the storytelling in FFX is good, i like how things are done from the main character's perspective and how in the beginning he has to pretend he's lost his memory because nobody believes his story, when in fact he hasn't lost his memory and just doesn't know what's going on. the tone of the game is consistent, and the NPCs really give the impression that the world is falling apart and their just trying to get by. in the end, the protagonists must destroy the foundation of their society in order to free the world from terror! goodbye, mother church! the battle and level-up gameplay is great. the turn-based fighting makes regular encounters easy, but also gives you room to breath during really difficult battles. i really liked the sphere grid system, which you can use to customize your team with almost any attribute or ability. i don't really understand what's so great about final fantasy music. the battle music is stuck in my head (duh) and the "sad" theme is kind of nice but i think in terms of having music enhance gameplay the Metal gear series did it much much better. 
tidus and yuna share a tender moment in one of the most famous ffx cinematics CHARACTERS! i liked tidus because he does try to fit in, then realizes his role and learned to be a hero. he's not really gay, it's just that his voice acting is inconsistent. plus, he's an "agi" hero, and agi heroes are the best! yuna is great too, and her characterization here helps you better appreciate what she is in x2. she is a person with great power and determination, but she has been taught all her life to live life according to what the world believes, and eventually what she knows is true brings her into conflict with what the majority want.
rikku is a pretty good character although i think she just served as exposition on the al bhed, etc.
khimari, the blue lion man phantom lancer has almost no lines and seems like a disposable character but when he does do things he's pretty cool and caring. i thought auron, the was cool in the opening sequence, but once the story went on i hated him because he was so damn smug about things.
wakka and lulu are alright. their backstory is pretty good and their differences RE tidus at first are interesting, but they both end up taking a liking to him around 1/4 of the way. it's too bad that lulu has almost no animations aside from "shake head in dismay". i kinda felt wakka was gayer than tidus because he's always grabbing him, patting his butt, etc.
for me, the highlights of the game would be the massive series of final bosses, scoring perfect overdrive combinations, and the CGI rescue/standoff at the tower of bevelle.
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